Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Terrible Two stories

The term "Terrible Two" really applies to Sean. After he turns two, he seems to transform into this mischievous kid who doesn't listen to orders. Just a few instances:

Bath time
He'll scream and struggle when the maid bathe him. When I bathed him, he behaves better, so whenever I'm home, I'll bathe him. But just the last few evenings when I'm not back from work yet, he would refuse the maid at all for his evening bath, and would pull whoever is around, his daddy or Ama, to bathe him instead. In fact, he hasn't been taking his bath until I get home and bath him late at night.

But since yesterday, bath time is a struggle, even for me.
I say, " Sean, bath time."
He goes, "Noooooooo!" and runs away. Then I'll have to go chase him, carry him while he struggles into the bathroom. Once his clothes are off, he's ok and plays with the water while I bathe him. And then when it's time to get out of the bathroom, it's another struggle. This time, because he wants to continue playing water... or more like.. messing up the bathroom. So there I go, carrying a struggling bundle who's screaming "Noooooooo!" all the while, until he gets distracted by something else. Seriously, when he behaves, bath time only last a few minutes. This way, it takes at least half an hour!

Oh Man... writing this down, reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes! Oh no... I hopes he's not going to be as naughty as Calvin!

Punching people, throwing things and pouring water
Last week, Sean saw a boy and wanted to play with him, so he went and punch him! I am terribly worried that he thinks punching is a way of playing. He bunches his fist and swings it around.. and thoroughly enjoys himself. But even though he's only two, it still hurts!

When he's in a temper he throw things.. when he's in a mood to play he throws things...When we give him a cup or a bottle of liquid, he pours it. Last weekend, he poured water at Paik Ling's TV!
We were at quite a dilemma on how to discipline him. When we hit his hand for throwing, punching or pouring, he just laughs. He doesn't feel the pain and doesn't feel disciplined.

So I remembered the sit in the corner punishment and tried it again. It worked! Of course, I have to make sure my face is serious and show him that I was really angry. I got him to sit on a stool in the corner of the room for 5 minutes. Every time he tried to stand up, I said, "Sit! No playing, no standing, you're being punished". He'll ask for a drink, for food, for a toy... I said "No drinking, eating or playing until 5 minutes is up!". I emphasized the fact that he was being punished.

Of course he cried pitifully. The hardest part about disciplining is looking fierce and not get distracted by the pitiful display of remorse. But it worked! He behaved very well for the next few hours. =D

Spitting food and water
Sean has a bad habit of spitting his food when he doesn't like it or when he wants to eat something else. Sometimes he pushed so much food inside that he can't chew properly, so he'll spit all of it out. So I give him a bit at a time. When he ask for more, I say " Finish what you have first.", which somehow makes him spit immediately.

I hit his mouth for spitting..... but I don't hit hard enough for it to hurt, which makes it redundant. He's not scared of it. Then I tried changing my word to " Swallow first".... maybe he thinks "Finish" means "Spit out"... it still doesn't work. So I'm still thinking of ways to make him stop spitting food.

A new bad habit is keeping water in his mouth and spitting it onto inappropriate places. Last night, I gave him a sip of water, which he played with in his mouth, laughing and gurgling away. And then, he spit on to the bed! Now, I think I'm a rather patient person, but that really irritated me. That was my side of the bed.. and I hate sleeping on a wet bed!

"Punishment!... go sit on your stool!"... which immediately caused him to cry frantically. He refused to sit on the stool and hugged me tightly. I made him sit on it.. and he cried so hard... with snots dripping off his nose, his hand stretched out to me, begging me to hold him... a veritable display of pitiful remorse.

I only lasted 1-2 minute....sigh.. I picked him up and got him to bed. It was already late and I didn't want him to be too agitated for bedtime.It only took him a few minutes to get back into a good mood, so I don't think he was emotionally scarred by it.

The method actually works!
So today, I use the words 'Do you want to be punished?" quite often. He's a handful.. running here and there all the time. It took me an hour to get him to take a nap because he kept getting out of the bed. Asking for a drink, a snack, to brush teeth, I turned my back, he's out of bed and playing on the floor. So I said " If you're not on the bed, you'll have to sit on the stool!".. That got him going... he he he

Oh man.. disciplining is hard. I think disciplining is harder on the parents. It's hard not to be moved by all those tears and remorse. Keeping your face looking fierce is hard too. He gets away with so many things because he looks so cute, especially when he actually sits down for 5 minutes, while being punished.

5 comments:

John Wee said...

Time to maybe start taking out the cane. :D

jazzmint said...

they go thru phases from time to time hehe...later he will be OK one lah, sometimes, i just choose to ignore my boy

Bryan and Brandon's Mama said...

I am terrible at disciplining. My MIL does all the bad cop work haha

Jessica said...

Hi, I read that you should just "ignore" the bad behaviour. Not really do nothing but don't over-react. Use a matter of fact calm voice. If you react too much, it's like acknowledging his negative behaviour. How about using reward method during bath time so he thinks it's a game. Like maybe a sticker chart that gives him smiley face for going to take bath without any nonsense. Or try giving him some responsibility like choosing his PJs for changing into after bath or choosing a toy to take into bathroom. Maybe Sean is ready to take more active role rather than just having people bathe him? All this is just theory. Read it somewhere. You try and let me know if it works. I'll be handling the same thing soon. Yes...work hard to keep a straight face. I read that you're supposed to give warning that you're going to send him to the stool and then after the punishment, get him to say sorry and realise what he did was wrong.

Mamalina said...

Thanks for all the suggestions!

John: We bought a feather duster, can't find a cane.. but don't have the heart to use it lah! =P

hpling: I wish I can get someone else to be bad cop.. but I've got to be both good and bad cop!

Jazzmint: yeah.. it's not all bad all the time.

Jess: Sean is not ready for sticker chart or those other methods yet. Maybe when he's a bit older.

But I usually talk to him calmly. I only shout at him when my patience is stretched to thinly and it's not that often, unless it was the end of a tiring day like on the blog story.

Yup.. I do warn him about going to the stool now. Now just the threat about being punished and sent to sit on the stool seem to work, as long as I catch him being naughty at the beginning, before he needed to be punished.