Sean 27 month - Stubborn

Despite still refusing to speak much, Sean's growth has been bringing much joy and despair to us. =D Why do I say that?

Joy... because he can be really charming when he wants to. He never used to respond when I said smile. Now he's full of goofy smiles and silly grins. Which is why he doesn't get punished very often.

Despair.. because he is so stubborn! His stubbornness seems to grow as he grows older.

Since he found the small plastic balls, he's been messing the whole house everyday. Sometimes I clean up, sometimes I leave it to the maid. But this can't go on forever.

This afternoon, we went down and he immediately went to the ball baskets and turned it upside down. He was so proud that he messed the living room. This was it! I told him to pick the balls up and he looked at me "innocently". As I kept repeating myself, his look became more and more stubborn. We came to a stand still. I punished him (sitting on chair), swatted his foot (which kicked the ball instead of picking up), and told him " No food, No TV, no toys, until he picked up all the balls". When he was still not responding. I asked " Are you comfortable on that chair?" He nodded, so I said " No chair!" and got him to sit on the floor, which of course made him cry harder.

Seriously, there weren't that many balls since I've already helped to put back some, but he just refused to pick them up. He preferred to cry his crocodile tears and still tried to sucker up his mummy. This went on for 1/2 hour, when he finally picked up a few balls and put them into the basket.

I could have saved myself a lot of energy repeating myself "Pick up the balls and put the into the basket" 50 times and did the clean up myself in less than 5 minutes. But I just felt that he has to learn to do it himself. It took a lot more energy to get him to do it though. =P

Updates for the last 2 months

I have been neglecting my blog for almost 2 months now. Things have been busy and I've been really lazy to blog. So now I'm just going to have to breeze through what's been happening the past 2 months.

October: Hallowen

I had 2 weeks of craft duties for Hallowen. It just so happened that I can make pinata, so I made the base of a gigantic spider pinata and a pumpkin pinata for the week before Halloween. Some of the mothers helped to decorate them during playgroup.

I was also busy making Sean's costume. If you read manga, you'll recognize hims as Luffy from One Piece. I sewed the jacket by hand and and it took a few days to make the hat! On Halloween itself, we made pumpkin baskets for the children to fill candies with.

We had a pot-luck Halloween party and the children hit the pinata until all the candies came out. They had a blast eating candies. That started Sean on sweets. The next morning he had 3 sweets for breakfast before I knew about it! I had to hide the rest of the sweets.




Early November

I have been busy with all my students' exams since September. All their exams seem to come one after another. It was after all end of the school year. What made it extra busy was helping my Form 5 student prepare for the SMP exam. I had to help her with last minute notes preparation because she just had so little time. Even then I had to leave her halfway because I've booked our trip back to Jakarta months before before I knew the exam timetable. and when we came back from Jakarta, she was still in the midst of exams.

Travel to Jakarta

This trip to Jakarta went a lot smoother than last year's trip. Sean had his own chair and behaved very well on the plane, except during the landing. His ears were in pain so he was crying all the way down. Nothing could help. Not breast feeding nor sweets. So I had to hugged him and hoped that the pain subsides soon.






Our first day in Jakarta was rather tiring though. We went straight to my parents' shop and had to wait for a long time before we could go home. It is a hardware store. He enjoyed himself running around, but being paranoid parents, we were watching Sean like a hawk the several hours we were there. So it was like " Don't touch that!" " Sit down!" "Stop that!" Totally exhausting.

Sean really enjoyed the visit this time. He got along quite well with his cousins (Fendi 9 and Frederick 6). They had a blast jumping on the beds until they cracked the wooden support beam of my bed! I also let them jumped around like crazy during the weekends. I didn't realize that they weren't encouraged to do so. Ooppss...=P




I combined my visit to my family with our friend, Yulius' wedding. His wedding was beautiful but unfortunately we couldn't stay for very long. Like many Indonesian weddings, it's cocktail style, which means there are no tables. They have buffet style food and the guests mingle around carrying plates and chit-chatting. Sean was crawling on all floors. I don't know why he suddenly thought it was really fun to crawl on all four, but we (Eny and us) decided to leave early and have pizza somewhere else, where Sean could be seated and we could eat in peace.

We also managed to meet up with Eny several times and caught up with her and her cute daughter Rena. Eny brought us to several places which on on our we would probably be too lazy to go to. The new malls are beautiful but food there was so expensive. What we paid a the up-class food court could have gotten us good food at restaurants here. We are such ulu people! =P

But...it's wonderful to meet up with friends you haven't seen for such a long time. I'm glad we got this opportunity to meet up! =D

We went to over to see my aunt and grandmother, but most of the time we stayed home. My objectives is just to catch up wit my family and the best time is just to go over to my parents' room to chat.

And then it was time to go back home. Eny gave Sean a cute little "Luigi" luggage bag, which he insisted to pull around. So he pulled his own diapers and snacks by himself. So cute! =D


Back in KL (late November)
The first few days back in KL were really hectic. My student was doing here Physics and Biology papers. So we concentrated on that. After that I thought I was going to have lots of free time because my students took a break from tuition for a few weeks. But YMCA called. They urgently needed an English teacher for their school holiday program. It was really last minute and I was given a few days to prepare for the week-long classes. It was only 1.5 hours everyday but the class consisted of students from 6 to 11 years old. So it was quite tricky to prepare.

Early December
Then Mary, Sam's younger sister came back with her fiance, David, to do wedding preparations. So that week was really packed with me teaching at YMCA in the afternoon ad running around with them helping them for their wedding preparations. Towards the end, Sam and Sean were really grumpy because I didn't really spend very much time with them. Oopppsss..Sean had been sorely neglected. Got to make it up to him. =P

Recent events
Things are getting back to normal now. Tuition has started again. We went to an early Christmas party at Margaret's house on Thursday morning, 11 Dec. Her house is beautiful. As you enter her house, you're welcomed with the vision of an infinity pool with the Bukit Gasing hillside as the backdrop. It felt really tranquil and wonderful to be there.

But... I couldn't really sit and enjoy myself chit-chatting with the other mummies. Sean just couldn't sit still and wanted to go out of the house or walked near the pool, or wanted to push toys or other people into the pool. Sigh....He even feel off a 1.5 meter ledge!

For an instance, I was terrible afraid because he disappeared from my sight from behind the staircase and ended at the bottom of the basement steps. But it was a great party in a beautiful house and wonderful hosts. Thanks Margaret for inviting us to your house! =D

Then last Friday, 12 Dec, the KDTA gym had a year end party. It was nice to meet up with the rest of the people from the gym. I haven't exercised for 3 years! Oh my goodness....time flies so fast! I managed to snatch conversations here and there. But with an active toddler who was intent on making mischief, my concentration was just not there, but I still managed to have a good time. Eventually, Sam brought him to the gym next door and let him run round and round until he was exhausted, or so I thought. He went home and was still suer hyper. But that night, he slept really well. =D

Last but not least, I've finally gotten myself a new laptop! Yippee! =D
We got it at the PC Fair on Saturday night but it took several days of going to Digital Mal to get the O/S and drivers uploaded before it could work properly. I only got it back today.

So now, I've got my own internet access again. So hopefully I'll be checking other people's blogs more often and updating mine more regularly too! =D

Playdates

I've been busy this month because it's exam month. However, we've managed to squeeze in a few play dates here and there. Not in order of dates:

We visited Auntie Paik Ling, Bryan and Brandon at home.



We went over to Auntie Sam, Kay and Kean's place.



We had a play-date at Bangsar Village II Kidsports, where Mummy managed to sneak a quick coffee break. =P



We played at Auntie Hun Kee, Jack, and Finn's place. It's such a beautiful home. My current favourite dream home.



Some of us mummies and kids are getting to be regulars at Raju after playgroup. Today, we seated the kids together. They behaved rather well most of the time, except for one instance when Sean started to scream and the rest followed one by one! Towards the end Kristen continued screaming until her mummy, Auntie Amelia asked her to stop. By then, Sean has stopped screaming.

The kids look like they're having a very important meeting.... delightedly screaming at each other!!! It was rather noisy for a while.. Oopps... =P

More on "Terrible Two" Sean

In continuation to the previous post.

"Terrible Two" Sean is still on the loose!

It's been difficult to get him nap in the afternoon, so he's been extra hyper and cranky.

Bath time is still a struggle. I've taken out the small tub for his bath so he can splash around, as well as let him play with an old bottle to squirt water with. He really enjoys the actual bathing, but..... getting him to go into the bathroom is still difficult. "Sean, bath time!" " Noooo!!" And now that he enjoys Mummy giving his bath regularly again, he doesn't want anyone else to bathe him.

He still spits food and often does not want the maid to feed him anymore. Mummy or daddy has to sit next to him on his kiddy chair and feed him.

He's awfully accident prone. Last week, within a 24hr period, he knocked himself 4 times.

First, just before bedtime, he knocked the edge of a table and had a big split on his lip, which gushes blood everywhere. The next morning, at playgroup, he run into the side of a book shelf while running away from me, and bump his head quite hard. Half an hour later, he tripped and fell face flat on the cement floor. An hour later, at Hun Kee's house, we knocked into the side of a plate I was carrying. It gave him a bruise on his cheek, which is still recovering. When we came home, his daddy asked whether Sean has been in a fight. Sean's face had a blue black and he was dirty and sweaty. Ooops! =P

However.. not everything is bad. Now the good parts! =D

Story of the day
We're going to have a Hallowen party at playgroup next week. So for my craft this time, I made the base for a giant spider pinata and a pumpkin for today, and next week we'll make pumpkin hallowen baskets for the children to hold their sweets.

So today, I was busy directing the mothers to make the spider pinata. As usual, Sean wanted me to do something with him, but because I was busy, I told him to wait and to go play first. When I was ready to spend some time with him, I couldn't find him. He wasn't playing anywhere. Eventually, I found my little boy sitting on a small stool in the library looking at a book! That was such a sweet moment =D

Discipline
The threat of being punished is actually working out quite well. Now all I do is threatened him when he misbehave. I'll say quietly, "Do you want to be punished? Sit on the chair?" Most of the time, it works. So he hasn't been put on the chair since the last blog post... yet.

Cleaning up
Sean has been putting his toys back into their places!

I was so surprised the first time I saw him doing it because I didn't even tell him to do it. I make it a habit to put all his toys always in the same place. His "Cars" cars in an IKEA clear box, his Duplo farm in a basket, his puzzles on the shelf, he also has a plastic drawers for all his other toys and I try to make is a habit to put back all his toys always in the same place.

It doesn't mean that I don't have to clean up after him. Maybe because he sees me always putting the toys back in the same place, he now knows where they are. So if he doesn't want to play something, he puts it back.

But of course, there are times where he just drops a toy and leaves it there. So to discipline him, I stop him and tell him to put it back or pick it up. He's not allowed to go until he does it. It's slowly working for the toys in the room. Now I've got to have a system for the toys in the living room!

Terrible Two stories

The term "Terrible Two" really applies to Sean. After he turns two, he seems to transform into this mischievous kid who doesn't listen to orders. Just a few instances:

Bath time
He'll scream and struggle when the maid bathe him. When I bathed him, he behaves better, so whenever I'm home, I'll bathe him. But just the last few evenings when I'm not back from work yet, he would refuse the maid at all for his evening bath, and would pull whoever is around, his daddy or Ama, to bathe him instead. In fact, he hasn't been taking his bath until I get home and bath him late at night.

But since yesterday, bath time is a struggle, even for me.
I say, " Sean, bath time."
He goes, "Noooooooo!" and runs away. Then I'll have to go chase him, carry him while he struggles into the bathroom. Once his clothes are off, he's ok and plays with the water while I bathe him. And then when it's time to get out of the bathroom, it's another struggle. This time, because he wants to continue playing water... or more like.. messing up the bathroom. So there I go, carrying a struggling bundle who's screaming "Noooooooo!" all the while, until he gets distracted by something else. Seriously, when he behaves, bath time only last a few minutes. This way, it takes at least half an hour!

Oh Man... writing this down, reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes! Oh no... I hopes he's not going to be as naughty as Calvin!

Punching people, throwing things and pouring water
Last week, Sean saw a boy and wanted to play with him, so he went and punch him! I am terribly worried that he thinks punching is a way of playing. He bunches his fist and swings it around.. and thoroughly enjoys himself. But even though he's only two, it still hurts!

When he's in a temper he throw things.. when he's in a mood to play he throws things...When we give him a cup or a bottle of liquid, he pours it. Last weekend, he poured water at Paik Ling's TV!
We were at quite a dilemma on how to discipline him. When we hit his hand for throwing, punching or pouring, he just laughs. He doesn't feel the pain and doesn't feel disciplined.

So I remembered the sit in the corner punishment and tried it again. It worked! Of course, I have to make sure my face is serious and show him that I was really angry. I got him to sit on a stool in the corner of the room for 5 minutes. Every time he tried to stand up, I said, "Sit! No playing, no standing, you're being punished". He'll ask for a drink, for food, for a toy... I said "No drinking, eating or playing until 5 minutes is up!". I emphasized the fact that he was being punished.

Of course he cried pitifully. The hardest part about disciplining is looking fierce and not get distracted by the pitiful display of remorse. But it worked! He behaved very well for the next few hours. =D

Spitting food and water
Sean has a bad habit of spitting his food when he doesn't like it or when he wants to eat something else. Sometimes he pushed so much food inside that he can't chew properly, so he'll spit all of it out. So I give him a bit at a time. When he ask for more, I say " Finish what you have first.", which somehow makes him spit immediately.

I hit his mouth for spitting..... but I don't hit hard enough for it to hurt, which makes it redundant. He's not scared of it. Then I tried changing my word to " Swallow first".... maybe he thinks "Finish" means "Spit out"... it still doesn't work. So I'm still thinking of ways to make him stop spitting food.

A new bad habit is keeping water in his mouth and spitting it onto inappropriate places. Last night, I gave him a sip of water, which he played with in his mouth, laughing and gurgling away. And then, he spit on to the bed! Now, I think I'm a rather patient person, but that really irritated me. That was my side of the bed.. and I hate sleeping on a wet bed!

"Punishment!... go sit on your stool!"... which immediately caused him to cry frantically. He refused to sit on the stool and hugged me tightly. I made him sit on it.. and he cried so hard... with snots dripping off his nose, his hand stretched out to me, begging me to hold him... a veritable display of pitiful remorse.

I only lasted 1-2 minute....sigh.. I picked him up and got him to bed. It was already late and I didn't want him to be too agitated for bedtime.It only took him a few minutes to get back into a good mood, so I don't think he was emotionally scarred by it.

The method actually works!
So today, I use the words 'Do you want to be punished?" quite often. He's a handful.. running here and there all the time. It took me an hour to get him to take a nap because he kept getting out of the bed. Asking for a drink, a snack, to brush teeth, I turned my back, he's out of bed and playing on the floor. So I said " If you're not on the bed, you'll have to sit on the stool!".. That got him going... he he he

Oh man.. disciplining is hard. I think disciplining is harder on the parents. It's hard not to be moved by all those tears and remorse. Keeping your face looking fierce is hard too. He gets away with so many things because he looks so cute, especially when he actually sits down for 5 minutes, while being punished.

Sneaking away for coffee

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it before, but Sean is very sticky to me. He wants me to be with him all the time. So it's been very hard to do things on my own unless I leave Sean with Sam at Toys"R"us, and even then, I only get half an hour to do my shopping.

Yesterday, several of us from the playgroup brought our children to Kidsport at Bangsar Village II because there was no playgroup this week. After we settled the children there, we wanted to have coffee at Starbucks which is just one floor below.

The other mums had their maids to take care of their children, so they had no problem. With Sean being so clingy, it was difficult for me to leave him. I was afraid he would be howling away the moment I left. So Samantha, took Keane, her 9 month son, with us and left her maid to take care of Sean.

I have to learn to let go of Sean, the same way that he has to learn to be more independent. It went well, he didn't cry and I didn't rush back every 5 minutes to make sure he was alright. So we had a great time. He didn't object to being left at Kidsport and I had a good coffee break chat with the mummies. =D

First poop in the potty!

Today Sean had his first poop in the potty!

We have had the potty for more than a year and had a half-hearted attempt to introduce him to it many months ago. He wasn't interested in it, so we didn't push him. I have been wondering how was I suppose to get him potty trained. My MIL said that it's a bit too late now and we may have to wait much later because he is used to wearing disposable diapers all the time. The maid said the kid behind the house is still wearing diapers at 5 years old!!!!

Anyway.... I was feeding him his dinner, when he refused to eat anymore. Then he said "Poo" and made his "pooping" face. So I asked, "You poo poo?". He said "Poo".. Okay then, lets go clean up. But the diaper was clean, so I thought, why not let's try to get him sit on the potty. The last time we tried was several months ago, and he kept standing up, and wanted to play with the potty.

But this time, he actually, pooped! He sat in the potty and played with water in a scoop. After a while, I got him to stand up and was amazed to actually see a big poop in there!

ha ha ha... I guess you have to be a parent to find pooping in a potty such an exciting event! =P
So everyone congratulated him for pooping in a potty. That was fun...=D

Of course, this is probably a coincidence. I'm not sure when is it going to be repeated the next time. =P

Other snippets:
Sean says 'knock knock" when he knocks on the door.
And he has replaced "chou" for "Oooo" which is short for Open.

He also regularly plays in Akong and Ama's room at night to jump on their bed and run around the room. They have a big room and their mattress on a big landing, which makes it a lot more fun and safe to jump around.